AARDVARK
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Aardvarks were harmed in
the preparation of this Website
Mrs Trellis of
I’m
Sorry I Haven’t a Clue
The Antidote to Panel Games
Who is Mrs Trellis of
Mrs Trellis of North Wales is the weird
eccentric lady who writes every week to
Humphrey Lyttelton, the Chairman of Radio 4’s
comedy panel game “I’m sorry, I haven’t a clue”.
This is a
very popular programme with Theosophists. The show is introduced as "The
Antidote to Panel Games" and consists of a panel of four comedians, split
into two teams and "given silly things to do" by a chairman. The
programme was first aired on April 11th 1972 and the signature tune
is a cabaret version of Deutschland Uber Alles called "The Schickel
Shamble" written by Ron Goodwin.
You can catch
this show and Mrs Trellis of North Wales regularly on BBC Radio 4 and the World
Service. Some old episodes are run on BBC 7 (Digital Radio). The show tours the
country and you may be able to get in as part of the studio audience.
I’m Sorry I Haven’t a Clue Comes to Cardiff
21st December
1998 and begins with the customary
letter from Mrs Trellis of North Wales
Mrs Trellis’s
Letters
Mrs Trellis’s
incoherent letters usually involve her mistaking Humphrey Lyttelton
for another Radio 4 presenter or media personality, and are read out to much
amusement. A modest web page, such as this, cannot even begin to convey just
how funny these letters actually are when Humphrey Lyttelton
reads them out but here are two examples anyway;
Dear Kenton,
I was appalled on tuning in this morning to hear a torrent of blatant filth,
with terms such as 'Big Bang', 'Large Firm Success', 'Satisfying Performance',
and worst of all, 'Job Blows'. It was the most disgusting edition of the Today programme's Business Report ever!
Yours
faithfully,
Mrs. Trellis
_______________________
Dear Mr Manilow,
I have so much been enjoying your cookery show. I have to say it's been years
since I last came upon a spotted dick. Your bread-making recipes have been
particularly helpful during the BBQ season - I have been getting my baps out at every opportunity.
Yours et cetera,
Mrs Trellis.
PS: love to everyone at BBC Devon.
There are
more examples at
Mrs. Trellis@Everything2.com
Does Mrs Trellis of North
Wales actually exist?
Opinion amongst Theosophists is divided but
the majority have concluded that she must be a real person. After all, who else
is writing all these ridiculous letters? She also has her own website http://www.mrs-trellis.co.uk/
and anything on the internet must be true.
If Mrs Trellis of North Wales really exists,
then this begs another question, does she realize the enormous laughs prompted
by her letters? Is She doing it deliberately? Does she even listen to the
programme? Does she have a radio?
Mrs Trellis’s first name is Ivy and it has
been suggested that she may be a member of an extremist gardening group who
worship Percy Thrower (an Ascended Master of Gardening) as a Deity.
An alternative theory is that Mrs Trellis
of
A yet more avant-garde theory suggests that
Humphrey Lyttelton writes the letters himself. No,
that can’t be right.
___________________________
Here’s another essential website for fans
of the Mrs Trellis of North Wales phenomenon;
British In America: MRS TRELLIS of North Wales
Here's a nice site,
devoted to the mysterious and
barking-mad Mrs Trellis of
North Wales who
does nothing but write
strange letters
http://british-in-america.blogspot.com/2005/12/mrs-trellis-of-north-wales-play.html
This webpage links Mrs Trellis of North
Wales to a Welsh version of the Mornington Crescent game played on I’m Sorry I
Haven’t a Clue
Mornington Crescent Reverse Welsh Rules Only Please
_______________________
Here below is
the entry in the Encyclopaedia Morningtonia
for Mrs Trellis of North Wales which reports that she is a legendary player of
the Mornington Crescent game. The entry covers her achievements in playing Mornington Crescent
and her contribution to the development of the game
Encyclopaedia Morningtonia: Trellis, Mrs.Trellis
Mrs. Trellis
is a dear, frail, somewhat doddery old woman from
Since her
victory in the first post-WWII championship, she has won the World Championship
a record 17 times (most recently in 1984), on twelve occasions winning a
complete Grand Slam of the Singles, Pairs, Team and All-In titles. She has also
won countless other international and national championships: all this despite
the fact that, every so often, she would take a year or two away from
competition play, to take up a role in administration of the game.
Until
recently, she has made comebacks to competitive play every time: but her most
recent retirement seems to be permanent. She is now highly active in the IMCS,
and is believed to have largely co-written the legendary Chalk Farm '84 rules -
the only known ruleset (until Holland Park 2000) to
have been accepted by both CAMREC and the IMCS. Chalk Farm '84 was published
shortly after her last championship win.
She remains a
great proponent of Mornington Crescent, and is said by most to be one of the
forces behind modern play. She contributes to countless funds, schemes and rule
revision committees to further the Mornington Crescent cause.
Also the
inventor of countless manoeuvres and gambits,
including the Trellis Power Shunt, the Trellis Quadrating
Strile and the Trellis Neasden Pincer, she is still a
formidable player in her own right, despite a blind spot in recent years
regarding the cross-hatching of Theydon Bois.
The fact that
she still officially holds the current ranking of #1 in the Grandmaster tables
- despite her age and actual retirement from playing in ranking tournaments -
is, to a certain extent, indicative of the awe in which most players hold her,
at least on the field. Nobody else is likely to be accorded the honorific of
the #1 ranking until
(a) they
stand out far above the rest, and
(b) Mrs
Trellis is long dead, or beaten in a one-on-one match … until then, #2 seems to
be the limit that any modern Grandmaster can aim for.
Mrs Trellis
has also made a profound contribution to the theory of Mornington Crescent,
having even collaborated with Grossman on quantum token dynamics amongst other
work. Truly, she is a titan of the Game.
Essential reading for fans of
Mornington Crescent Psychic Insomniacs
_____________________________
Here is the Mornington Crescent Theosophy
Website
The Earth Base for Evolutionary Theosophy
Worldwide,
London & UK Theosophy Links.
London
Directories & London Blog Links. London Bookshops
Info for Fans of
BBC Radio 4’s I’m Sorry I Haven’t a Clue
http://www.blavatskycalling.theosophywales.org.uk/morningtoncrescenthomepage.htm
If Mrs Trellis of North Wales
actually exists,
Then a Mr Trellis (possibly
of North Wales)
must
also exist or have existed at some time
_______________________
Mrs Trellis of
and
the Darth Vader Connection
Darth Vader and
Jedi Knights fight it out in North Wales
Awesome tales from
the Anglesey Jedi Church
with plans to establish
a colony on the Moon
and an attack on two
Anglesey Jedi Knights
by a man posing as
Darth Vader. Plus a reaction
by a not pleased
Anglesey resident who doesn’t
have a very high opinion of the Jedi Church.
It is almost impossible to believe that Mrs
Trellis of
Darth Vader is known to be a big fan of
“I’m Sorry I haven’t a Clue” and the early broadcasts from 1972 have penetrated
the remoter parts of our Galaxy. Possibly Mrs Trellis of North Wales has used her
letters to somehow alert Darth to the presence of Jedi Knights on Anglesey and
offered to put him up while he continues the inter-galactic war.
_____________________
AARDVARK
For more info on Theosophy
Try these
Dave’s
Streetwise Theosophy Boards
If you run a Theosophy Group,
Please feel free to use any of the
material on this Website
The Cardiff Theosophical Society Website
The
National Wales Theosophy Website
This
is for everybody not just people in Wales
Theosophy Cardiff’s Instant Guide to Theosophy
High
Drama & Worldwide Confusion
as Theosophy
Cardiff Separates from the
Welsh
Regional Association (formed 1993)
One Liners & Quick Explanations
The Most Basic Theosophy Website in the Universe
If you run a Theosophy
Group you can use
this as an
introductory handout
Nothing answers questions like Theosophy Can
The
South of Heaven Guide to
Theosophy and Devachan
The main criteria
for the inclusion of
links on this site is
that they have some
relationship (however
tenuous) to Theosophy
and are lightweight,
amusing or entertaining.
Topics include
Quantum Theory and Socks,
Dick Dastardly and Legendary Blues Singers.
Lentil burgers, a
thousand press ups before breakfast and
the daily 25 mile
run may put it off for a while but death
seems to get most of
us in the end. We are pleased to
present for your
consideration, a definitive work on the
subject by a Student of
Katherine Tingley entitled
General pages
about Wales, Welsh History
and The History of
Theosophy in Wales
The Spiritual Home of Urban Theosophy
The Earth Base for Evolutionary Theosophy
The Birmingham Annie Besant Lodge
Tekels Park,
Camberley, Surrey, England GU15 -2LF
Article
describing Tekels Park and its much
cherished wildlife by
Theosophist and long
term Tekels Park
Resident Madeleine Leslie Smith
Mrs Trellis of North Wales
writes to Wolfie
in an attempt to take over
in Tooting.
______________________
The Theosophy
The Theosophy Cardiff Guide to
The Theosophy Cardiff Guide to
The Theosophy Cardiff Guide to
The Terraced Maze of Glastonbury Tor
Glastonbury and
Joseph of Arimathea
The Grave of King Arthur & Guinevere
Views of Glastonbury High Street
The Theosophy Cardiff Guide to
_____________________
Camberley, Surrey, England GU15 - 2LF
Tekels Park to be Sold to a Developer
Concerns are raised about the fate of the wildlife as
The Spiritual Retreat, Tekels Park in Camberley,
Surrey, England is to be sold to a developer
Tekels Park is a 50 acre woodland park, purchased
for the Adyar Theosophical Society in England in 1929.
In addition to concern about the park, many are
worried about the future of the Tekels Park Deer
as they are not a protected species.
Many feel that the sale of a
sanctuary
for wildlife to a
developer can
only mean
disaster for the park’s animals
Confusion as the Theoversity moves out of
Tekels Park to Southampton, Glastonbury &
Chorley in Lancashire while the leadership claim
that the Theosophical
Society will carry on using
Tekels Park despite its sale to a developer
Theosophy talks of a compassionate attitude
to animals and the sale of the Tekels
Park
sanctuary for wildlife to a developer has
You don’t need a Diploma in Finance and
even someone with a Diploma in Astral
Travel
will know that this is a bad time
economically
Future of Tekels Park Badgers in
Doubt
Concerns about Tekels Park Wildlife
Theosophical
Society in England
Tekels Park is Being Sold to a Developer
Tekels Park &
the Loch Ness Monster
A Satirical view
of the sale of Tekels Park
in Camberley,
Surrey to a developer
The Toff’s Guide to the Sale of Tekels Park
What the men in
top hats have to
say about the sale
of Tekels Park
_______________________
Classic Introductory
Theosophy Text
A Text Book of Theosophy By C
What Theosophy Is From the Absolute to Man
The Formation of a Solar System The Evolution of Life
The Constitution of Man After Death Reincarnation
The Purpose of Life The Planetary Chains
The Result of Theosophical Study
An Outstanding
Introduction to Theosophy
By a student of
Katherine Tingley
Elementary Theosophy Who is the Man? Body and Soul
Body, Soul and Spirit Reincarnation Karma
Try these if you are looking
for a
local Theosophy Group or Centre
UK Listing of Theosophical Groups
Worldwide Directory of Theosophical Links
______________________
& of course
you don’t need to live in Wales
to take advantage
of this guide
Your Own
Theosophy Group Starts Here
A Guide to
starting your own
Theosophy Group
These are
suggestions and pointers for forming
your own independent
Theosophy Group and
not instructions on
how to form a branch of a
larger Theosophical Organisation.
The subject of
affiliation to a larger body is
covered but as
affiliation may mean compromise
and nobody owns
Theosophy anyway, we leave
that decision entirely up to you
It is not beyond
the realms of possibility that
Mrs Trellis of
North Wales is reading this and
might decide to start a
her own Theosophy Group
___________________
General pages
about Wales, Welsh History
and The History of
Theosophy in Wales
Wales is a
Principality within the United Kingdom
and has an eastern
border with England.
The land area is
just over 8,000 square miles.
Snowdon in North Wales is
the highest mountain at 3,650 feet.
The coastline is
almost 750 miles long.
The population of
Wales as at the
Theosophical
Movement in Wales
Finding Stuff in
North Wales is easier to find than Mrs
Trellis
If you are thinking
of participating in one of the many expeditions to look for
Mrs Trellis of
North Wales, you may find these Wales links very useful.
You should be aware
however, that despite many expeditions to North Wales
by experienced
members of the Theosophy Movement and a satellite launched
from the Llanfairfechan Space Centre in 1983, Mrs Trellis has never been found
Please note also that Mrs Trellis of North
Wales may no longer live in North Wales
but still keeps the title. Members of the
House of Lords do this all the time.
National & Regional Wales Web
Directories
National
The Valley
Connection
Web Directory For Wales
Open Directory (Wales UK)
Regional: Europe:
United Kingdom: Wales
Wales Pages
Search Engine and Web Directory for Wales, UK
Welsh
Regions
North Wales
Regional Directory
Denbighshire,
North Wales, UK. LL21 – 0DD
West Wales Web
P.S.
We’ve just had a letter
from
Mrs Trellis of
Dear Ozzie
Your websites have made Theosophy amusing, interesting
and entertaining. Are you mad? I’ve always seen Theosophy as something for
people who find Dutch verbs interesting.
Who can honestly say that they haven’t
stayed in bed til dinner time with a manual of Dutch verbs in one hand and a
cup tea with the other, I know I have.
Kind Regards
Mrs Trellis
So there we are then, Mrs Trellis of